Hush
by silver-kin
Summary: Luxord is worried about what tomorrow may bring and how life would change. Xigbar is perfectly content to just go to sleep.


I was flipping through the dictionary one day and saw the word 'hush'. I read the meaning (not that I didn't know the meaning before that, mind you) and decided I wanted to write something entitled 'Hush', so here it is.

Disclaimer : Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square Enix and Disney

**Hush**

The members of the Organization have adopted a kind of routine to base their days on; at certain times, this member can definitely be found at this certain place doing whatever it is they do during those moments. It isn't a daily thing, more a practice they put themselves through purely for the sake of having something stable in their lives, something they either like or dislike or give absolutely no thought to.

The proper word for that, he supposes, is habit.

Since Nobodies are nothing but imitations, having a habit is expected; since everyone technically reacts based on their memories, it's only natural that everything else they do is at least partly a habit as well. Every member of the Organization has their own set of habits, and everyone has to learn to accept them, no matter how strange the habits may be.

In the early mornings of everyday, Zexion could be found in the library reading in places that range from hidden to very difficult to reach. Axel _must_ steal an item belonging to a fellow member at least once a week; otherwise he's either very sick or suffering from severe lack of energy, both which are extremely rare, unfortunately. Saix leaves for the Dark City in the middle of the night on a regular basis, though what exactly it is he does no one knows since the only person who had attempted to follow him had been 'persuaded' not to reveal what he saw. Steaming hot chocolate and oranges make a strange breakfast, but the last time Demyx went without those two because they ran out and Marluxia refused to share the ones he had gotten from Lexaeus, the musician had flooded the entire lower part of the castle in a sort of protest.

Each little quirk that comes out in the open is quickly accepted with only one or two questions.

And just like how Vexen had frozen Xaldin's entire private book collection when he found out the lancer had accidentally thrown the sugar out the window during a slight tug-of-war with Larxene, Xigbar has his own little traits too.

With or without an earlier warning, Luxord, if asleep, will be roused to find himself staring into Xigbar's grinning face; if he is awake, he usually notices when the man suddenly appears in his room. Sometimes they talk to each other in low voices, murmuring soft words in the presence of the constant night time. Sometimes there is no need to speak; quiet embraces accompanied by breathless kisses are more than enough. During _those_ occasions, he isn't surprised to find his fingers tangled in Xigbar's hair and the other's hot breath mingling with his own.

They fall asleep in each other's arms, curled closely together in the middle of the bed and loose grips on each other carrying over from the previous night's touches, though nowadays he can never be sure which kind it is. There was once a time when he could tell 'want' from 'need' and 'desire for heat' from 'desire' itself, but that was a long time ago; now, all the touches and faint brushes have gotten mixed up so badly he can no longer tell the difference. In the end, he gave up on the task entirely, deciding to ignore the whole issue instead of attempting to address it.

Tonight, like every other night, Xigbar appears in his room uninvited but Luxord expects nothing else; it isn't like they ever had an official agreement regarding the matter. Tonight, however, as opposed to the usual, Xigbar doesn't announce his arrival immediately, lacking any form of spectacular entrance. Instead, he merely crawls wordlessly under the covers and makes himself comfortable, the silence very much unlike the other man. He doesn't offer any words after that either and just moves closer to Luxord.

Sleep seems like a good idea at the moment and Luxord wishes he could stop thinking all the thoughts running through his mind the way Xigbar was, but he just can't. Tomorrow looms gloomily in his thoughts, turning around and around in dizzying circles and he can't force himself to stop thinking enough to fall asleep, so he ends up talking anyways. "If you could have anything in the world right now, what would you ask for?"

Xigbar ignores him.

He isn't surprised; it is expected, after all.

After he repeats himself twice, Xigbar groans and mutters, "A box of ice cold butter cookies."

Luxord frowns at the response. "I meant that question in a serious manner."

"And I answered it just as seriously."

"Come now, Xigbar, be serious. What would you ask for?"

No response, again.

"Xigbar," he says, emphasizing the other man's name.

The sniper heaves a sigh. "I'd ask for a different leader. Someone," he elaborates, albeit reluctantly, not even bothering to wait for Luxord to ask, "that _won't_ send everyone under him to their doom as he sits on his high throne like some kind of king and watches."

Luxord considers it. "Who would you prefer as leader?"

"I don't know and honestly, I don't care. What I do care about is going to sleep, so shut up so that I can."

He falls silent, listening to the other's rhythmic breathing. After a few moments, he says, "Are you worried?"

"About?" he asks.

Ignoring the slight irritation that had colored the sniper's voice, Luxord responds with a simple, "tomorrow."

Xigbar's answer is just as easy. "Nope."

"Why?"

"Because a little brat, a dog, and a duck who can't really talk properly are nothing to be worried about. Most definitely not good enough to be the reason for less sleep," he says, never opening his uncovered eye.

"But," Luxord protests, "they took down Xaldin. They also got past Demyx before that."

"We both know that Demyx despised fighting and wouldn't willingly fight unless he absolutely had to, and even then he probably wouldn't give it his all. And Xaldin was probably going through his one of his more careless moments again. One of his lances must have slipped or something."

"You can't just dismiss the whole thing."

"Yes, I can because tired people tend to want to go sleep and believe it or not, I'm one of those tired people who want to go to sleep. If I don't, it'll be kind of hard to stay awake tomorrow, don't you think so?"

"But what if tomorrow doesn't turn out the way you expect it to? What will you do then?"

Shifting slightly, Xigbar's response is a barely audible mumble. "Then I'll leave the battle, go look for Xemnas, kick his sorry butt when I find him and demand to know why he ordered us all to die."

"He's doing it to ensure the completion of Kingdom Hearts." When Xigbar remains silent, he continues. "To give all the Nobodies hearts to replace the ones they lost. He sees it as the best way to do things. And besides, there's no point in doing that since he won't even believe that you're actually angry."

"Probably," Xigbar agrees, "Since he'll think it's all just pretence."

"Precisely."

"Not that I'd care, 'cause I'd still do it anyways. It's not like it's our fault he still can't feel anything. He should've learned from Demyx when he had the chance."

"We can teach him," Luxord says, suddenly struck by an idea. "Or attempt to. There might still be time."

Xigbar sighs again, this time opening his left eye to look at him. "Are you going to sleep or what?"

"There might still be time," he repeats insistently.

"Look, if I kiss you, will you stop talking so the both of us can go to sleep?"

He ignores the sniper's words. "Unless you deem that an impossible task?"

Instead of answering or even going back to his earlier attempts, Xigbar changes the topic of the conversation in a resigned voice. "If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?"

"I'd ask," he answers carefully after a moment's hesitation, "for more time."

Xigbar laughs a little at that. "The man who controls time would ask for more time. Somehow, I find that very funny, dude."

"I cannot increase the amount of time we have left, Xigbar. All I can do is slow time down or make it rush past us. Not create more," Luxord answers.

"Yeah, okay," he says, "but seriously, can we please go to sleep now?"

"What about Xemnas? What about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow will come when it comes, so there's no point in worrying about it. It's not like we can do anything about it, right?" Xigbar curls up closer, tightening his grip.

"But surely there is _something_ we can do, right?" Luxord insists. "What if we tell him about us? He might change his mind then, and tomorrow will never have to come."

Xigbar gives him a look, then moves in and places a long kiss on his lips. "Don't be ridiculous, he says after he pulls away. "That's our little secret."

**Fin**

Thank you for stopping by to read this. Opinions are very much welcomed. It'll be nice to know what you guys think.


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